There once was a dude, named Michael

He was such a tall, friendly, and fun person to see

Insert line with whatever the hell rhymes with Michael

His presence alone filled everyone with glee

Nobody really knew how or why

Everybody asked the same old question

How, oh how does that face just light up the sky?

However a few people did suspect deception

I'm not sure how they could come up with such accusations

I didn't like being seen as such a creep

I tried using some gentle persuasions

But that didn't work, so I just drugged them in their sleep

This was completely pointless